The Harsh, But True, Reality of Modern Day Dating | Lifestyle

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Thursday, August 31, 2017

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If you are currently in a secure and loving relationship then please consider yourself lucky. 

Modern day dating is not as easy as you may think, and can actually be truly disastrous for those that are interested in looking for love. Of course if you're interested in the FWB business, then I'm sure you'll have more than a few options but that's an entirely different story, and blog post.




Unfortunately, not everyone lands on their feet when it comes to meeting a guy, and as the old saying goes "You have to kiss a few frogs before you find your prince." That phrase couldn't be more accurate when defining dating in the modern age. 

Firstly we have to establish where do we actually meet potential love interests? I can assure you this shit ain't as easy as it is in the movies. Guys do not come up to you in book stores, make a witty remark and then take you out for ice cream and if they meet you in a club they want nothing more than to take you home, sleep with you and never call you again. So you see, our expectations supersede the harsh reality. 




The easiest, and arguably the most popular method is now dating apps. Everyone and their mother are using them and they do totally have their perks. If you're a single girl looking to casually get in the dating game and not get into anything serious then go forth! You can talk and meet up with as many people as you want and not feel bad about it and it can do wonders for your self esteem having loads of men fawn over you... So I've heard. 

Anyway, with the highs comes the lows and I can confirm there are a lot of lows with using dating sites. Just to name a few:

1) Creeps
2) Fakes and phonies 
3) The ones just looking for sex
4) Married men/women
4) Coming across your brother/sister/any relative/ex
5) The mega creeps

All I will say is I would recommend you enter with caution! 




There isn't much worse than not knowing where you stand when starting out a new relationship. You might think the idea of going out on a date is simple, but it isn't. You have to define the date first. For instance, if you get asked "Are you coming to pub tonight?" Not a date. This guy is only interested when you are around, and doesn't want to take the opportunity to get to know you one on one. AKA he just wants sex. 

Now I'm all for feminism, but when a man pays on a date, I wouldn't say no as I consider it a nice gesture. However, this isn't something you can really talk about and plan before so you have to just roll with it. If he has no intention of paying this can be an incredibly awkward encounter. My best advice would be to offer to split, if he was planning on paying he still will anyway and it should get you some bonus points. 




When you find someone that you are actually willing to take time out of your day to text regularly with, then comes the issue of decoding messages. I hate it, I hate it, I hate it. 

You will spend so much time trying to decipher hidden messages in everything they are saying to you, but more often than not it there is no mystery and they probably were just busy at the time. The sad fact is that today's society lacks so much trust when it comes to relationships that they just aren't treated as sacred anymore. Cheating has become second nature amongst so many of us, that anyone wanting to be exclusive has to have their guard up to prevent them from getting hurt. Thus making this just one of the preventative measures we go through to protect ourselves.  





There are more ways we can protect ourselves of course, and the most brilliant, yet crazy, being cyber stalking. Don't lie, we have ALL done it because unless you want 'MUG' written on your forehead, you have to know if there's any skeletons in the closet i.e Another girlfriend, a secret family, wanted for murder... The usual. 

I'm not saying this is the best of ideas because this can have an adverse affect should you end up seeing something you don't like. You've only been seeing each other for two weeks, there's no way you can go calling him out on why he is still Facebook friends with his old high school girlfriend. No way. We save crazy for the fifth date.




I do think it's unfair when we get branded as 'psycho' though. When you actually think back on all the shit girls can initially go through during the courting stage, it's unreal. The worst of all is when they start the stupid game playing and your mind does overtime trying to analyse every conversation. 

"Something's up, he only sent one x? I sent xxx." 

"Ohhh so he's gonna take 1 hour to reply to me, well bitch, I'm gonna take 3. How do you like me now?!"

We being the idiots that we are think we can play the game better. We can't. Males were born with the innate ability to play girls all over the field, it comes naturally to them and they genuinely think they're not doing anything wrong. Girls on the other hand were not and we have had to learn to adapt. 




If you have managed to make it through all of the aforementioned stages, then congrats but you're now onto the boss level. Having the "Are we exclusive?" conversation. Bridging the gap between the 'seeing each other' and 'official boyfriend and girlfriend' stages are hard. So much can go wrong when you bring this question up; you have to time it perfectly. 

You say it too soon and you run risk of scaring them off and coming across as needy. You wait too long and they might think you're not that invested in a serious relationship and they need to find someone who is on the same page because they can't wait for you to get your shit together. 

When does the saga end?!

I'm sure many of you will know what I'm talking about, and if you don't - treasure your other halves as dating in today's day is a literal version of hell. 



What are some of your dating disasters?



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